The Singles Files - moderated by Amy Berkowitz

By stever I think it would be interesting if you hosted a singles function. You would have to make sure you get some info on your guests so some matches could be made. Stever

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] Steve. I am trying to get TH-R to do that. We may do something in the future. I think a meet and greet would be great. I will again pass that along to the editors.
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By saraz Hi Amy, I am a SJF from Bergen County, who participates in on line dating. Is there any way to check up on the people you meet. I hate to be skeptical, but I've met a few people who are not always truthful

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] Sara Z there are all types of ways on line to check up on people. Of course, the old Google works well. But be mindful that not everything on the Internet is true. I will say that Lexis/Nexus is a good tool to use. You have to pay for it, but it will be worth it. Marriage records and divorce records can be found online too. The most important thing with dating online is to meet in a public place. Parks are not good because traffic there can dwindle depending on the park. Restaurants are always good. Listen carefully to people and ask questions. They will tell you all you need to know about them from their responses and actions. But keep in mind that most people are just like you. Good at heart and going out to have fun and meet someone.
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By sidman Nothing specific. I do like the idea of these chats during lunchtime. It gives people a reason to take a break and discuss topics of interest such as the singles scene.

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] Thanks Sidman. I like them too. Although I'm a little slow keeping up with the questions.
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By stever Is this a new column you will be writing? Stever

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] Yes, I started the column about two months ago. It runs every Friday. I have been writing for THR and its weeklies prior to this for 10 years. I felt TH-R needed a place exclusively for singles of all ages. I try to make it humorous so that people can get a laugh for the day and feel better about their situation. Often single people feel they have no luck in life. That's not true. We all have a bright future to look forward to whether or not we find Mr/Mrs. Right. Good luck to you Steve R. Keep reading Single Files and email me with your ideas. AMY:0)
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By sidman Amy, I haven't been there. However, you have a point about going where there is are other singles. How about the Hiking groups? S.

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] I just wrote a column the other week about the Harriman Hikers and the Mohonk Hiking group up in New Paltz. They are great options if you've got the strength. I'm a klutz so making it to the mailbox and back is like a victory lap at the Olympics for me. Just be aware that most of these Singles Hikes are strenuous. They aren't for amateurs (or a walk in the park) so if you like hiking, maybe start your own group. I will stick to my walks around the mall. Sidman, do you have any suggestions for future topics?
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By sidman Hi Amy, I see you mentioned Club Getaway as a singles place. What is your opinion of the singles weekend at the Nevelle in Ellenville, NY? S.

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] I have never been to the Nevele. But I hear that people enjoy it. The last time I went to the Catskills was at the Concord. I was about 16 and on a singles weekend because my sister was in her 20s and needed someone to go with. It was a boring experience for me. I wasn't ready for it. Imagine those men's faces when they asked what college I went to and I replied with my high school name. Anyway, I say whatever gets you together with a large group of people is worth it. Sidman have you been to the Nevele? Did you like it?
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By sidman Amy, Where is a good place to meet singles in the 30 to 50 age group? S.

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] Sidman, if I had that answer I would be a gazillioneer. But here's a good place for me to stand on my soap box. Churches, mosques, temples if you are listening...you need to provide more for Singles. Think about it. if all of you got together and opened your places up to singles like they used to in my mom's time...then you would get some future families on your list. Afterall, singles meet at a house of worship, they get married there and then send their kiddies to Sunday School. So this is the best way for houses of worship to plan for THEIR future. I'm not a huge fan of the Quick dating. But I have to say I wish some of my dates were only that long. AMY:0)
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By sidman Hello Amy, I am a SJM from NJ and would like to know...What do you think of on-line dating? S.

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] I think I answered the online dating question for you but it came up again. I am not technically inclined so I will say again that online dating can be a good thing for people trying to ease their way back into the dating scene. It can be an ego booster or buster. So you have to take online dating in stride. Don't be offended if no one emails you or says they aren't interested. It may be their problem and not yours. Do other things while trolling on line and don't just rely on only online dating. And if you are checking your email every five minutes it's not for you. You are too anxious about it. AMY :))
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By stever You look like a beautiful, young & attractive person, so where do you go to meet people of the opposite sex? Sincerely Yours, Interested

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] I love to dance Steve so I go dancing a lot. I think men should give dancing a shot. If you don't know how to dance women are always willing to teach you.
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By sidman Hi Amy, I have another question: What do you think of on-line dating? S.

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] Sidman, I have tried online dating twice. It didn't work well for me. But I have to say that online is a good way to get back in the dating seen. Just men, make sure you really answer all the questions on the online form. Nothing turns me off to a person more than blank spaces. If you don't have the time to fill out the form then you don't have the time to date.
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By sidman Hi Amy, I am a SJM from NJ. My question is, Do you agree that singles vacations are a better atmosphere to meet someone rather than a singles event? If yes, why? SpongeBob.

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] Hey Sidman, I believe that timing is everything the place means nothing. You can meet someone crossing the street if you are open to meeting someone. I do believe that vacations are a good way to meet people, especially single cruises because your stuck with these people for at least a week. You HAVE to get to know some of them. And for shy people it works well. But people say they meet at dances, events and online all the time. So you can't count anything out. It's just a matter of time before people click. AMY:0)
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By stever I am interested in women over 40, can you recommend any restaurants or vacation areas?

Response from Amy Berkowitz [ADMINISTRATOR] How about the tea room in Chester. It's a genteel place so I'm sure it will get some high class ladies over 40. I'm not sure of the exact name, but it is also an art gallery. Also, the Holiday Inn has dances for people over 40 every second and fourth Sunday. I have tried Club Getaway and they have an over 40s weekend. I am 33 and it's tough out there. But hey you've got OVER 40 wisdom on your side. AMY :0)
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